Posture first
Emotion regulation · Opposite action
- Notice. Notice your current posture, breathing, and urge to act.
- Name. Name the present situation as simply as you can.
- Choose. First identify the emotion and urge. Check observable facts separately from assumptions. If there is real danger, protect yourself or get help. If the emotion fits and action would help, solve the problem. Choose opposite action when the emotion does not fit the facts or its action would be ineffective.
- Try. Having chosen an appropriate opposite action, include posture, expression, voice, and movement in it. For example, an unhelpful attack urge can be met with unclenched hands and a measured voice. Keep checking effectiveness.
- Observe. Notice what followed, including little or no change. Decide what the situation needs next.
Approach instead of avoid
Emotion regulation · Opposite action to fear
Do not use this to approach actual danger, override a boundary, or remain with someone unsafe.
- Notice. Notice your current posture, breathing, and urge to act.
- Name. Name the present situation as simply as you can.
- Choose. First identify the emotion and urge. Check observable facts separately from assumptions. If there is real danger, protect yourself or get help. If the emotion fits and action would help, solve the problem. Choose opposite action when the emotion does not fit the facts or its action would be ineffective.
- Try. Choose a safe situation you are avoiding despite the facts, such as asking an ordinary question. Approach it with your attention and body as well as your words. Repeat appropriate approach rather than immediately retreating.
- Observe. Notice what followed, including little or no change. Decide what the situation needs next.
Gentle instead of aggressive
Emotion regulation · Opposite action to anger
- Notice. Notice your current posture, breathing, and urge to act.
- Name. Name the present situation as simply as you can.
- Choose. First identify the emotion and urge. Check observable facts separately from assumptions. If there is real danger, protect yourself or get help. If the emotion fits and action would help, solve the problem. Choose opposite action when the emotion does not fit the facts or its action would be ineffective.
- Try. When acting on anger would be ineffective, release clenched hands, soften an attack posture, and use a measured voice. Try to understand the other perspective without abandoning your limits.
- Observe. Notice what followed, including little or no change. Decide what the situation needs next.
Activate instead of collapse
Emotion regulation · Opposite action to sadness
- Notice. Notice your current posture, breathing, and urge to act.
- Name. Name the present situation as simply as you can.
- Choose. First identify the emotion and urge. Check observable facts separately from assumptions. If there is real danger, protect yourself or get help. If the emotion fits and action would help, solve the problem. Choose opposite action when the emotion does not fit the facts or its action would be ineffective.
- Try. If withdrawal would deepen the problem, take one appropriate action toward engagement: get up for an ordinary task or contact someone safe. Include your attention and movement. Repeat as useful; rest and genuine physical limits still matter.
- Observe. Notice what followed, including little or no change. Decide what the situation needs next.
